Reminiscence
by phoenix-aerith
Summary: Sequel to Paper Cranes. The various characters wonder how life has changed so much after Cagalli died. 6 chapters in total. Sorry for the lack of updates! Bonus chapter up...TT
1. Autumn Breezes

Disclaimer: No, I don't own Gundam seed or any of their characters. If I did, I'll make sure Cagalli and Athrun had a happy ending with 4 little Zalas running around…XD, and no, I don't own Within Temptation songs either.

Summary: Sequel to Paper cranes. The various characters think about Cagalli, and what life is like after she has gone. Title based on Within Temptation song, "Our Farewell". This is written in their various POVs, mainly Kira, Lacus, Athrun, Murrue, Andy, Shinn, Meyrin.

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_Kira- Autumn breezes_

_Show me the meaning of being lonely…_

It was autumn now in Orb.

It was also her favorite weather.

_So many words for the broken heart  
It's hard to see in a crimson love  
So hard to breathe  
_

He remembered her vaguely saying that autumn was best, because the trees would turn a shade of orange- red, and she had liked to jump into the piles of leaves by the trees. It seemed childish, but she always said it brought back happy memories of her childhood, when she was with her adoptive parents. The cool breeze would sweep away any worries, any problems, any fears she had.

_Walk with me, and maybe  
Nights of light so soon become  
Wild and free I can feel the sun  
Your every wish will be done_

_They tell me..._

That was why she loved autumn so much.

_Show me the meaning of being lonely  
Is this the feeling I need to walk with  
Tell me why, I can't be there where you are  
There's something missing in my heart_

He used to joke with her, wondering if they were really twins because he liked spring, and she loved autumn.

_-Being twins doesn't mean we have to have the same interest!-_

_Life goes on as it never ends  
Eyes of stone observe the trends  
They never say forever gaze if only… _

That was always her retort. But there was always a smile on her face when she said that.

_Guilty roads to an endless love (endless love)…  
There's no control  
Are you with me now  
Your every wish will be done_

_They tell me..._

Ironic that they were of a different genetic pattern,

He was a Coordinator,

She was a Natural.

_Show me the meaning of being lonely  
Is this the feeling I need to walk with (tell me why…)_

_Tell me why, I can't be there where you are  
There's something missing in my heart_

Yet, they blended so well together, it was wonder that Coordinator and Natural could get along so well.

_-No matter what genes we have, you still are always my little brother.-_

_There's nowhere to run  
I have no place to go  
_

They never figured out who was older. But, it always felt that Cagalli was the oldest among the two.

_Surrender my heart, body, and soul  
How can it be you're asking me to feel the things you never show…_

And now there was just him, the little brother.

_You are missing in my heart  
Tell me why I can't be there where you are_

How he wished, time could be turned back, so he could make up for the lost time.

_Show me the meaning of being lonely  
Is this the feeling I need to walk with (tell me why…)_

But like people always said, regrets always came at the last moment.

_Tell me why, I can't be there where you are  
There's something missing in my heart_

He wished he could hear his sister's words, the ones he used believed in.

_Show me the meaning of being lonely (being lonely)_

He had hoped that after the war, they could sit down and talk properly as siblings.

_Is this the feeling I need to walk with_

But it seemed, they could never do that.

How he had hoped…

How much he wished she could be here to see the breezes.

_Tell me why, I can't be there where you are_

Since she couldn't watch the breezes anymore…

_There's something missing in my heart…_

He would watch, feel and sense it for her…

Her favorite season…

_-Thank you…Kira…-_

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_A/N: Yeah, slight angst…I know…a friend of mine who read my story suggested that I write a sequel, and I felt that it wasn't a bad suggestion, so here I am…writing more angst…it seems to be my specialty…# grimaces # … anyway, I hope you guys like it…and do review…so that I know where to improve on…thanks a lot…_


	2. Best of friends

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own gundam seed.

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_Lacus- Best of friends_

She watched her lover stand underneath the fiery red maple trees.

_chiisa na koto de daiji na mono ushinatta_

It was autumn, after all.

_tsumetai yubiwa ga watashi ni hikattemiseta_

_Her_ favorite weather.

_"ima sae areba ii" to itta kedo sou ja nakatta_

But it seemed just yesterday that _she_ had gone off to a place,

A place where _she_ didn't have to suffer anymore.

_anata e tsuzuku doa ga oto mo naku kieta_

Even as she thought about it,

The emptiness that resulted from losing a friend would never vanish.

_anata no shiawase negau hodo wagamama ga fueteku yo_

She remembered that _she _always said that she would go the same time as them.

_-You broke your promise, my dear friend…-_

It seemed weird.

_soredemo anata wo hikitometai itsu datte sou_

She was a Coordinator,

And _she _was a Natural.

Yet they had forged a strong friendship.

_dareka no negai ga kanau koro ano ko ga naiteru yo_

_She_ had been the main cause why Orb was neutral, right?

_sono mama tobira no oto wa naranai_

_She_ welcomed both Coordinators and Naturals.

_minna ni hitsuyou to sareru kimi wo iyaseru tatta hitori ni_

_She_ rejected neither.

_naritakute sukoshi gaman shi sugita na_

_She _welcomed enemies who had defected and were seeking sanctuary with open hands,

Although there was still a high chance they could betray _her_.

_jibun no shiawase negau koto wagamama dewa nai desho_

_She_ always tried to look happy,

But those close to _her_ truly knew how much _she_ suffered.

_sore nara anata wo dakiyosetai dekiru dake gyutto_

They knew the burden _she_ carried,

And the tears _she_ had shed for it.

_watashi no namida ga kawaku koro ano ko ga naiteru yo_

If she found herself unlucky, having lost her parents and friends,

She would always remind herself that _she_ suffered more.

_kono mama bokura no jimen wa kawakanai_

When the Second Bloody Valentine war had begun,

_She_ drew away from their support,

Not wanting them to support _her_ vulnerable state.

_anata no shiawase negau hodo wagamama ga fueteku yo_

Still _her_ twin had insisted on helping _her_,

And over the time,

_She_ slowly grew stronger,

But more distant from them.

_anata wa watashi wo hikitometai itsu datte sou_

_Her_ laughter,

Which was always so carefree,

Was now forced,

Complete with a fake smile on _her_ face.

_dareka no negai ga kanau koro ano ko ga naiteru yo_

_She_ would always say that _she_ was fine,

And brush their worries aside,

Always claming that others were suffering more than _her_.

_minna no negai wa douji ni wa kanawanai_

"Lacus- sama?"

She turned her head.

"When will Cagalli- sama come and play with us? I've asked Kira- nii- san, but he just never says anything and says that she can't come and play with us anymore…"

How she wished the children never asked.

How she wished she wasn't the one to answer this question.

"Cagalli- sama has gone to a far, far away place, so she's not coming back anymore."

The children just grumbled, but they would understand when they grew older.

If there was one wish that she could make…

_chiisa na chikyuu ga mawaru hodo yasashisa ga mi ni tsuku yo_

She wanted to be friends with Cagalli once more.

_mou ichidido anata wo dakishimetai dekiru dake sutto_

_-We'll always be the best of friends, won't we? Lacus?-_

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_A/N: Part 2, Lacus! Notice that at the end of the story, there's always someone's thoughts. That would be Cagalli. I had wanted to make it in a way so that it showed that even though she's gone, she would always be watching them. And the italic "her" or "she" was also referring to Cagalli…I had to make this clear…I was afraid that it would look a bit confusing…anyway, I'll like to thank the following people…_

_Keeper.of.the.Moon- Thanks for the review! Hope you like this chapter too! By the way, my thanks for reviewing my other story, Paper cranes!_

_Smokey-eyed-Beauty- Now you don't have to wait, here's the second chapter! Thanks for reviewing!_

_AirStriker- Thanks for reviewing this story and Paper Cranes…although, your second last comment in the review for this story had me laughing…Hope you like this chapter!_

_Next up: Murrue!_


	3. Responsibility

Disclaimer: No, no, no and no.

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_Murrue- Responsibility_

It had just been years ago.

_koboreochiru yakusoku no kakera tachi_

Years ago when she took up the role of the Captain of the _Archangel._

_mune ni kizamu koto sae deki nu mama ni_

Years ago when she fought for the EAF,

Then defected to Orb when their allies turned against them.

Years ago when she saw thousands die while protecting Orb.

_surinuke te yuku itsuwari to shinjitsu o_

Then it had been months ago.

Months ago when she took up the rank of the Captain of the _Archangel_ once more.

Months ago when she fought against the now allied Orb and EAF.

_miushinatte kizui ta_

Then fighting for Cagalli,

For it was now Orb that had turned against them.

_narihibiku kodou no kotae o_

She had not forgotten the look on Cagalli's face when she watched her people turn against her.

It was one full of grief, betrayal and disbelief.

_hateshinaku meguri tsuzuku kanashimi no tobira_

It was not something a 19 year old could handle,

Despite having seen countless deaths and having survived the first Bloody Valentine war.

_owari naki tooi namida atataka na hikari ni shi te_

She had not missed the failing determination in her eyes,

And watched as she broke down in front of her and the Archangel crew.

_kimi ni todoki masu you ni_

Even though Cagalli was strong,

She had cried over each and every treasured person she had lost.

_hoo o tsutau shizuku ryoute ni atsume_

Murrue had heard the grief- stricken cries of Cagalli resounding over the wide- ocean,

And silently made it her duty to watch over the young leader,

Like she had watched over Kira.

Both were so young,

Yet they were fighting for their loved ones,

And there was no telling when they would fall to Death's hands.

_chiisaku naru kioku no kage o keshi ta_

Thus she made it her responsibility to watch over them and guide them,

As well as to ensure that they didn't fall to Death's clutches.

_inori no sube o yurusa re nu ashita demo_

That was why she had blamed herself for Kira's accident.

How she wished they had never been part of it at all.

_mitsukeru koto kizui ta_

She was happy at his return,

And made it even a more important priority to watch over him.

When Lacus, Athrun and Cagalli joined them,

She made it her responsibility to watch over them as well.

_narihibiku kodou no mirai o_

She was happy all of them had survived the First Bloody Valentine,

But grief came in the form of the death of her lover, Mwu La Fllaga.

She slowly moved on after his death.

_tooi itami kanashimi ni owari ga aru nara_

Now…

She was reunited with him,

And she was content.

She remembered Cagalli congratulating the both of them upon their reunion,

While she looked so fragile as they returned her greetings.

_shizuku hanatsu hikari tachi aruki dasu michi terashi te_

Murrue watched the girl toil away,

At the expense of her health.

She and Kira watched over Cagalli carefully,

Knowing that Athrun wasn't with her anymore.

_kimi ni tsuzuki masu you ni_

Kira had Lacus,

And she had Mwu.

_surinuke te yuku itsuwari to shinjitsu o_

But Cagalli had no one.

She was always smiling,

But Murrue knew her grief well.

_miushinatte kizui ta_

Everyday, she saw Cagalli.

But now…

She didn't see her anymore.

_narihibiku kodou no kotae o_

_-If only I had paid more attention to her, maybe she wouldn't die and could live a longer life!- _was her reasoning.

But was it true?

No one escaped Death's clutches more than once.

_hateshinaku meguri tsuzuku kanashimi no tobira_

Maybe it was time to shift that responsibility to Athrun and Kira.

Now that Cagalli was gone,

She would watch after them for Cagalli.

_owari naki tooi namida atataka na hikari ni naru_

She could comfort herself with that thought…

But she would never release the guilt,

The guilt that she had failed to take her responsibility well,

And for failing to watch over Cagalli.

_tooi itami kanashimi ni owari ga aru nara _

_-Murrue- san…be happy with Mwu-san…please don't blame yourself, and thank you…-_

_hitosuji no hikari atsume kimi ni todoki masu you ni_

_-Thank you…for being my older sister and for watching over us…-_

_shizuku ni hisomu subete ga kimi ni todoki masu you ni_

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_A/N: Third chapter done, this chapter was a bit more depressing though. It didn't escape my notice that Murrue watched over Cagalli and Kira carefully, always giving them support when they needed it, like an older sister. It must have been some sort of responsibility, thus the chapter name. Anyway, thanks to the following reviewers:_

SolidDreamer: Thanks for the review, hope you like this chapter!

Digi-gal-rox: Now you don't have to wait, here's the next chapter!

Athyra: haha…its okay…but thanks for making an effort to review, I appreciate it!

Outlanders: Thanks for reviewing, hope you like this chapter!

AirStriker: Yup, I noticed that there was plenty of it, but for characters like Stellar, the people sure killed them off quickly…haiz…

_Next up, Andy aka the Desert Kitty…I'm kidding, I'm kidding! Desert Tiger…yup!_

_Please review though, I'll like some opinions and be gentle if you wanna flame._


	4. Different

Disclaimer: I don't own the Desert Kitty or any other characters for that matter.

Andy: I'M NOT A KITTY!!! TIGER!!!

p-a: Tigers belong to the cat family right? So that still makes you a kitty…XD

Andy: T.T

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_Andy- Different_

They were different in every way.

_miageru sora_

Every single way.

_kanashimi no_

No matter what it was,

There were different in every single way.

_aoki nageki no_

Food, genes, clothes…

It was all different.

_utaga tada kikoeru_

But yet, he had found himself being attached to this unique Natural,

Whose brains were equally smart as her ability to fight.

_yasashii shiroi mabataki_

He couldn't say the same of her twin brother though,

For Kira had much more brawn then brains, he had once told Murrue.

_ubaisatta kaze...kanata_

Murrue had laughed and told him to watch Kira and Cagalli very carefully.

_-They have some similarities, if you look carefully.-_

But till now,

He didn't see in what way they were similar.

_nigenai boku wa kimetayo_

They were so different.

_kimi no nukumori sobani kanjite_

Cagalli was a Natural,

Kira was the Ultimate Coordinator.

_me wo sorasazuni_

Cagalli was the princess of Orb,

And Kira was just a soldier fighting for Orb.

_subete kono mune ni_

Maybe those were the similarities.

_sasaru shinjitsu naraba_

Both were fighting to protect the people they loved,

Fighting to protect their future,

All the while left emotionally scarred.

_aruite yukou_

Even though the death of Aisha had struck him hard,

He was sure that her death had created a hole in them.

_yugami fusagareta_

They were so young.

Especially the princess,

Who had to bear the entire weight of her country on her small shoulders.

_hoshi no tobira no mukou..._

Gone was the spirited, brash and tomboyish young girl,

Replaced by a scarred, sad, frightened and powerless young leader.

_maari yamanai_

It was a large contrast from the girl that used to argue with him that chili sauce was better than yogurt sauce.

_-Such a fond memory it had been…- _He smiled as he recalled it.

_akai ame_

The girl who always didn't approve of his thinking,

Actually became his ally when he cleared his thinking.

_omoi dasenai tsubusareta ashioto_

She had accepted him like any other friend,

And not like a defector of ZAFT.

_kimi no te sotto furetara_

Andy felt that she had never noticed it,

But Cagalli bore an aura of welcoming around her.

kanjiteruyo sono kodou

Maybe that was what kept the Orb soldiers loyal to her in a dire situation.

Maybe it was that aura that gave them the strength to fight for her with their own lives as stake.

_tsunaide mou hanasanai_

It reminded him of his time as the Desert Tiger,

Where his troops were so loyal to him,

That they willingly obeyed his every command.

_terashi tsuzukeyou hoshi no hikari de_

Even Aisha, who was so faithful to him,

That she died in his place with a smile on her face.

_nanika ga kawaru_

Cagalli had left with a smile on her face,

Wishing Meyrin and Athrun all the best,

And sent them all off with a smile on her face.

_ryoute hirogetara_

The confident smile on her face…

Maybe that was the difference between them.

_sore ga shinjitsu dakara_

While he did not have to smile to get them to be loyal to him,

Cagalli's smile drew everyone to her.

_doko e mo yukazu_

Maybe that was the difference.

_boku no soba ni ite_

It didn't have to be food or anything,

Nothing to do with genes and such.

_tobira wo akete ageyou_

Cagalli was Cagalli,

He was he.

_me wo sorasazuni_

Both of them were once leaders,

But maybe the difference was the way they did things.

_subete kono mune ni_

But for now,

He would etch the memory of a girl who once argued with him that chilli sauce was better in his head…

_-Chilli sauce is still the best, I'm telling you, Andy…-_

_sasaru shinjitsu naraba _

aruite yukou

But maybe…the difference wasn't so great after all.

_yugami fusagareta  
hoshi no tobira no mukou..._

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_A/N: Finished Andy's chapter at last…# whew # Sorry for the lack of updates, its been hectic for me over this month. Tests and homework and such…too bad I'm a rather slow learner…TT…anyway, thanks to the following reviewers!_

AirStriker: Its okay; I'm touched that you still reviewed, my thanks! Yep, Murrue was always acting like a mother/ sister to them, instead of treating them like any other soldier. That is what I really admire about her.

Princess Ashes: Thanks for reviewing! Yep, she was really protective of them…I think Cagalli and the others must have been very happy to have a person to look up to…

ticky.tacky.toey: It was, in a way, supposed to be depressing, I didn't want to make it too depressing though…XD. Thanks for reviewing!

Athrya: Yes, I've been very tempted to call Andy that for ages… haha…well…erm, I was kinda feeling depressed while writing that chapter so…anyway, thanks for reviewing…

outlanders: Thanks for reviewing…I intended to write on six people, but I decided to add in a bonus chapter which features Meyrin, as she played a role in Cagalli's and Athrun distance from each other…no offense to Meyrin fans out there, I swear…

_Again, thanks to the reviwers and readers! Next chapter will feature…Shinn!_


	5. Forgiveness

Disclaimer: Don't own gundam seed or any of its characters…again

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_Shinn- Forgiveness_

He hated her.

With all his heart.

_Can you forgive me again_

He kept telling himself,

That his family died because of her.

_I don't know what I said_

He blamed her,

Hated her,

Made fun of her,

Hurt her.

_But I didn't mean to hurt you_

He would smile in utter hatred as he looked at her.

He swore he would never forgive her.

_I heard the words come out_

Never.

But…

But never did he expect that he would be one of the million people standing there.

_I felt that I would die_

Standing there at the front of the Princess of Orb's grave.

He was supposed to hate her.

_It hurts so much to hurt you_

Yet, why did he cry along with the million others?

_Then you look at me_

Why?

_You're not shouting anymore_

Was it because of the last conversation they had together?

_-You should never forgive me…because I never make anyone happy…-_

_-Of course. I'll never forgive you! Never!-_

And as she left,

All she did was smile at him sadly.

_You're silently broken_

Or was it because she reminded him a little of Stellar?

The sadness in their eyes were the same.

_I'd give anything now_

The hair colour was the same.

The smile was never a true one unless they saw the people they loved.

_To kill those words for you_

Or was it because both of them were buried near or in the sea?

Was it that way?

_Each time I say something I regret_

Or was it because she just welcomed him home like a long- lost relative?

Why did she not hate him for everything he had done?

_I cry, I don't want to lose you_

Why did she not try to argue back?

Why did she accept all kinds of bashings and such thrown on her?

Why did she not fight them away and only silently doing what she had to do?

_But somehow I know that you will never leave me_

So many whys.

But they would never, ever be answered.

Because the only one who could answer the questions was the princess herself.

_Cause you were made for me_

With her departure, who would answer those questions?

Her brother?

Her guardians?

He smiled bitterly as he thought.

_Somehow I'll make you see_

Her brother…

The one they called "Kira of the skies", or "the knight king, Freedom."

They made him sound so great.

But in the end,

Kira Yamato was still human.

_How happy you make me_

So what if he was a Coordinator?

He was still a human.

_I can't live this life_

Her guardians,

Especially the Captain of the Archangel and her bodyguard, Kisaka.

Both were equally protective of her and helped her many times.

Not just them,

But the millions, Coordinator or Natural,

Willing to give their lives for her.

_Without you by my side_

He stopped walking and clenched his fists.

Why?

Why did she remind him so much of Stellar?

Why did both of them have to undergo so much pain?

_I need you to survive_

He didn't understand.

Shouldn't he be the one suffering?

Why?

He slammed his fist on the table as he sat at a nearby café.

_So stay with me_

"Shinn?"

He looked up.

Kira Yamato and Captain Gladys's friend, Murrue Ramius, stood in front of him.

_- Speak of the devil…-_

"Kira Yamato…Captain Ramius…"

Murrue just smiled at him. "Murrue would be fine. Can we sit here?"

He just nodded and looked at Kira Yamato.

Kira Yamato just looked at him with a smile on his face…

_-But his eyes carry the same sorrow as mine…except the sorrow seems to be a lot more…-_

"Shinn? Is something the matter?"

"Why?" Murrue and Kira looked at him, puzzled.

"Why does everyone want to protect her!? Isn't she just another human being!? Why do all of you want to die for her!? WHY!?"

_You look in my eyes and I'm screaming inside_

Murrue and Kira was silent, mouth slightly open.

"Shinn- kun."

He looked up at them.

"Do you…do you want to know why?" Murrue asked.

Murrue's shoulders slumped slightly. "Because Shinn…Cagalli- sama…in the whole lifetime she was around…she learned…to forgive and forget…because, she didn't want to lose anybody…anymore…"

Moments later as they left,

Kira told him.

_That I'm sorry_

_-Cagalli…forgives you…so why don't you forgive yourself…?-_

The Heavens cried.

He stood under the rain and smiled

_And you forgive me again_

_-Foolish…yet so…- _

As the rain continued to pour on him, he heard two voices.

_You're my one true friend_

_- Welcome home…Shinn…-_

It comforted him. The second voice…

_And I never meant to hurt you_

_-I'll see you tomorrow, right, Shinn?-_

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_A/N: Shinn's chappie up long last! TT…homework and stuff has been really taking its toll, and not to mention I hurt my knee…TT, anyway, thanks to the following reviewers!!_

Smokey-eyed-Beauty: Thanks for the review! Yep, Andy and Cagalli were truly great leaders although Andy was in ZAFT and Cagalli in Orb. In Destiny, I felt that Andy really gave a lot of help to Cagalli, so…

Hades.Throne.Heiress: Thanks for your comments, they were really very encouraging! I hope you enjoy this chapter on Shinn, although the story looks very messed up…''…

wewewewewe: Thanks for the review, and yeah, Andy can be very funny in his own way sometimes…XD

Athyra: Here's Shinn's chapter, sorry for the long wait! And yeah, the chili sauce part still never fails to amuse me…XD…my true sympathies for Andy…he truly in a way is the Desert Kitty…XD…

_-Andy bangs head on the wall-_

_Anyway, thanks for reviewing again, and I hope you enjoy this chapter, although it's a little disorganized…next person up…I think I let the readers guess…XD…_


	6. Mistake

Disclaimer: No, no,no and NO…

Note: This chapter is specially dedicated to Athrya, for the wonderful reviews you always drop in my inbox! Hope you enjoy this chapter too!

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_Athrun- Mistake_

The cool wind blew ever more strongly, signifying the coming of autumn.

_juuroku de kimi to ai_

To many who could not take the summer heat well, the wind was a welcome relief.

_hyakunen no koi wo shita ne_

But to a particular man who stood in front of a grave,

A grave dedicated to the ruler of Orb,

A grave dedicated to his lover,

The wind only served to chill him even further.

_hirahira to maiochiru_

Bending down,

He placed her favorite flowers,

Those fiery, bright orange hibiscus,

So native to the Orb,

So much like her,

On her grave.

_sakura no hanabira no shita de_

Looking up, he then gently placed a hand on the name engraved on the stone.

_aitakute kakenuketa_

"Hey, Cagalli. I'm here to see you."

Another gentle gust of wind answered him.

_hi no ataru kyuu na sakamichi ya_

A few trees away,

Kira Yamato, Murrue Ramius and Lacus Clyne were watching.

_kouen no sumi futari no kage wa_

Lacus took a step forward, only to be restrained by Kira.

_ima mo kawaranu mama_

Kira looked at her, then at his childhood friend.

"Let them be."

Seconds later when he turned his head,

Leaves danced in place of the three people who had stood there earlier.

_kimi to boku to "sakura biyori"_

He looked there for a moment more,

Than focused his attention back on the name in front of him.

_kaze ni yurete maimodoru_

Once more,

He fondly stroked the name, dusting away any stray dust that could have collected,

Willing himself not to cry,

For she would not like it.

_marude nagai yume kara sameta you ni_

If she was here,

She would have given him a dressing- down or a whack on the head.

_miageta saki wa momo-iro no sora_

_-You can't be weak, Athrun Zala! How else are you going to be my bodyguard?-_

He smiled bitterly.

_Bodyguard? Against what? Against all kinds of physical attacks and such? In the end, I couldn't protect her…against myself…_

This time, the tears fell.

_suki deshita suki deshita_

_-I hurt her, so many times. I could protect her against all those assassination attempts on her life, but she still ended up hurt anyway…the hijacking of the 3 gundams…the battle at Orb…-_

_-Just how many times have I failed to protect her!?-_

He rammed a fist into the ground, ignoring the sudden stab of pain that had shot through him.

_egao sakisometa kimi ga_

Why did she have to die!? Why couldn't it be him? Why did she have to pay for his mistakes!?

Why!?

_boku dake ga shitte ita_

"_Why!? Why you, Cagalli!?" _He screamed to the grave. "_Why not me!?"_

"WHY DID IT HAVE TO BE YOU!?"

_migigawa yawarakana ibasho_

Two fists now slammed down on the ground.

Athrun Zala threw away his pride and cried openly.

_sakura no shita no yakusoku_

"Cagalli…when you send those paper cranes…you knew, right? So why didn't you tell any of us? Why did you choose to send your message in the form of a crane? Tell me why, Cagalli…"

_-This way…it was best for us, Athrun.-_

He raised his head in shock.

"_rainen mo koko ni koyou" tte_

Cagalli was standing in front of him, wearing a green dress with straps. An orange hibiscus sat on the center of her dress around the chest area, and two long green ribbons flowed out from behind the hibiscus, dangling and dancing in front of her. A transparent silk wrapped around the chest, sewn onto the dress itself, and held in place by the hibiscus. Two simple bracelets each decorated her wrists, and unique green ribbons were tied around the side of her hair, and light makeup was on her face.

_nando mo tashikameatta kedo_

"Cagalli…is that you?" Emerald green eyes danced in hope and disbelief.

Cagalli smiled lightly.

_ima mo hatasenu mama_

_-It was best for you and me, Athrun.-_

"No it wasn't! Why did you leave?" He tried to grab her arms, but they passed through her as easily as it would pass through water.

_kimi to boku to "sakura biyori"_

-_Athrun…I swear I did not leave you because of the fact that a Coordinator and a Natural could never be together, even though I had been influenced to think that way. Believe me, Athrun, given a choice or not, I would still have to leave you…-_

"But, why?" His voice was anguished.

_kaze ni sotto yomigaeru_

Cagalli looked away. _–But what of Meyrin…?-_

"Meyrin? She's nothing more than a sister to me! I swear it!"

Cagalli shook her head. _–Its not just here…Athrun…even up till now, you hold the guilt of causing Meer's death indirectly.-_

"Cagalli, that-!"

Cagalli placed a hand on his face. Surprisingly, it felt warm.

_kimi mo ima dokoka de miteru no kanaa_

_-Learn to have to let go sometimes, Athrun. Don't bear the weight of everything.-_

"Cagalli, at least stay with me!"

_-I am always by your side, Athrun. It remains to be seen if you can feel me or not. Believe in everything, Athrun. Live life as normal…when the time comes, I will be there…-_

"Cagalli!"

_ano hi to onaji momo-iro no sora_

No, he would never let her leave him again, never…

_oikaketa hibi no naka ni_

_-Ahou…did I not say it once? I will never leave you…all we have to do is wait…-_

"I won't have myself repeating the same mistakes years ago!"

_-Oh, but you are repeating it, silly. Learn to live and become more stronger. Tell that baka twin of mine to hurry and marry already. I'm still waiting, and I won't wait anymore…mistakes will always be mistakes, Athrun. However, you can correct them if you learn to, Athrun.-_

_kizamareta ashiato wa_

Cagalli's smile broadened a little.

_nani yori mo kakegae no nai takaramono_

_-And…keep that crane, will you? That was my favourite amongst the millions I made…-_

"Cagalli…!"

He watched as she faded away,

Then placed his hand in his pocket.

_kimi to boku to "sakura biyori"_

_kaze ni yurete maimodoru_

From it, he drew out the familiar crane that she had sent to him,

_tomedonai omoi ga afuredashite  
namida ga komiageta_

That many years ago…

Shutting his eyes, he held it close to his chest.

_kimi to boku to "sakura biyori"  
kaze ni yurete maimodoru_

_-Somehow…we'll see each other again, right, Cagalli?-_

_mada minu mirai wo mune ni daite  
miageta saki wa momo-iro no sora_

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_A/N: Gimme a sec…# runs to corner and starts bawling # I can't so freaking believe I finished this story! Wahhh!! Ah, nevermind…# coughcough # just ignore me for a moment, I'm a little hyped up because I finished this story…well, not actually finished…there's a bonus chapter coming up soon. Anyway, why am I ranting?_

Athrya:Thanks so much for supporting this story! Shinn's would definitely be angsty…well, if not, how is he going to live up to the reputation of emo guy? Just kidding…XD…I felt it appropriate to let Stellar have a share in Shinn's chapter as well, because Stellar was Shinn's first love, no? And yea…my knee's still recovering, but its much better now!

Inulover4eva: By the way your review sounded, I think you're a hardcore fan of Kira, right? Anyway, thanks for reviewing!

Hades.Throne.Heiress: Thanks for reviewing! I felt that it was a little messy, but your review puts me much more at ease…and…I think you know whose in this chapter, rite?

_To all my reviewers and readers, thanks so much for reading! I'm proud to announce that this story has a hit of 1106! Thanks a lot, everyone! Anyway, be ready for a bonus chapter coming up soon, even this story is officially finished._

_Until then, read and review!_


	7. Jealousy

Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Seed…

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_Meyrin- Jealousy_

It was autumn.

_Sora wo miage nagarakana_

Again.

She watched.

_Tsutau namida nuguu_

Children laughed and played with falling leaves.

Couples taking a stroll among those tall maple trees,

And families chatting and having a picnic on the wide field covered with red- orange leaves.

_Kimi wo omou kimochi_

As she took in the breath- taking scenery, a hand suddenly came to rest on her shoulder, snapping her out of her daydream.

Lunamaria looked down at her, worry in her eyes but not wanting to show it.

She forced a smile at her sister, then stood up and got ready to leave.

That's right, leave.

_Kokoro kakimidashite_

But why?

Her heart clenched as she thought of the answer.

Athrun.

He didn't even want to see her again.

_Wakare magiwa no saikai no chikai wo_

She remembered how he had screamed for her to get lost when he learned of Cagalli's death.

She remembered how he said that he should have never met her,

Or even went back to ZAFT in the first place.

_Shinji tsuzuketeru kara_

_-If I hadn't done any of those things, maybe she would still be alive!-_

Those heart- breaking words.

After all this while that she had spent with him,

It had all gone down in the drain.

_Nagareru hoshi ni negai goto wo noseru_

She had wanted to tell him,

All he had done was to shred her heart, bit by bit, then cast them away.

But her conscience retorted:

_-In my opinion, that's just your selfish way of thinking that Athrun Zala owes you.-_

Was it truly this way?

_Douka buji de ite to_

After all, she had been aware that Athrun had always been in love with Cagalli.

She was nothing more than a in- between, she remembered several of the grieving Orb soldiers saying. She tore our princess's heart by taking away someone she loved.

Murrue had chastened them, telling her not to mind.

_Kiseki shinjite mitsuketa DUST TRAIL_

_-Cagalli- sama is stronger than that. In the end, she decided to choose her country over Athrun. Don't blame yourself.-_

But how could she not blame herself?

She had kept on clinging to Athrun all the while through the war, hadn't she?

_Mirai wo hiraku SHINING RAY OF HOPE_

She hadn't spared a thought for Cagalli when she happily held Athrun's arm and walked around, hadn't she?

So what right had she to say she played no part in Cagalli's death?

"Meyrin?" She snapped out her thoughts again.

_Kimi no kotoba wo shinjite matsu yo_

"I'm going to get us some food, as the next shuttle leaves in an hour, okay?" She nodded her head.

As Meyrin watched her sister walk away, she remembered how Lunamaria had also been hurt brutally.

Less than 2 months after their relationship started to grow roots,

Shinn had asked for a breakup.

_Dakara kanarazu modotte kite_

_-I'm sorry, Luna…I can't forget Stellar…so just move on…-_

Lunamaria had looked so broken that day.

If it didn't help matters, the girl "Stellar" was found a few weeks later by some farmers, and she was brought to Orb without her memories, and only remembering "Shinn".

Shinn and Stellar had then reunited, but Lunamaria was cast aside.

_Mune no oku ni yakitsuketa eien no MEMORY_

And Lunamaria didn't even seem to mind.

_-Shinn and Stellar are a match made in heaven. I can't deny that. Look at him. Have you ever seen him this happy before, Meyrin, when he was with me?- _

She gripped the straps of her bag.

Were they so ill- fated?

_Egao wo machi wa biteru_

Both of them had someone they loved, yet in the end, they were thrown aside like rag dolls.

Because the people they loved had loved someone else.

And they were nothing but mere replacements.

_Futari chiisana koro_

It made her so mad, so jealous.

Why couldn't she have met Athrun sooner?

Why couldn't have Luna met Shinn sooner?

Why did Stellar and Cagalli exist?

_Itsumo issho datta ne_

Why did the people they love only look towards another?

She choked back tears.

"Miss Hawke?" She looked up in surprise to face Lacus Clyne.

_Jitto watashi wo miru_

"La…Lacus- sama! What brings you here?" She hurriedly wiped her tears away. A warm hand fell on her shoulder.

"Are you alright?" Meyrin nodded.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lacus asked kindly.

_Hitomi kirameitete_

The tears fell.

"Lacus- sama…!" She buried her head into Lacus's shoulder, sobbing hard.

Lacus said nothing, only patted her back, then guided Meyrin to her seat.

"Why, why did it have to be Athrun? Why couldn't I love someone else?"

Lacus sighed.

_Kimi wa watashi no te Wo hiku michishirube _

"Really, Hawke- san, matters of the heart are really hard to dealt with…"

Meyrin looked up in surprise.

"Athrun was once engaged to me, a match made by our fathers. However, what I felt was nothing more than friendship, and then, one fine day, I found myself with Kira."

_Sora ni kagayaku NORTHERN STAR_

"Kira made me feel different, although I was aware he was mentally broken after being used by a Natural girl called Fllay, if I don't remember it wrongly…but I didn't care. I didn't mind being a replacement, so long I could be there and nurse him back to who he was."

Lacus smiled.

"And in the end, my efforts were not in vain."

_Kono mama zutto issho ni irareru to_

Meyrin looked at Lacus in admiration.

_-For someone she loves, she actually forks out so much…-_

"Hawke- san, you have to understand that a relationship between Naturals and Coordinators are very rare. Despite knowing that, Athrun and Cagalli choose to show that it was not impossible, but Fate decided to play a cruel joke."

_Mujaki ni shinjiteta_

"What do you mean?" Meyrin asked.

"Cagalli had to leave because of her commitments to Orb, and Athrun had his own beliefs. This only served to widen the gap between them, a gap in which Cagalli had been trying to repair, but failing. The end result was that while they believed it was not impossible for the Naturals and Coordinators to hold relationships, but to the both of them, each had their own commitments to deal with. There was no way they could have gotten together."

"But even during the battle, they were so close…and Cagalli- sama…it was as though she was mocking me when she asked me to take care of Athrun…and look…!"

_Kimi wo omoutte sagashita DUST TRAIL_

"Because Cagalli trusted you."

Meyrin started.

_Hashiri hajimaru SHINING RAY OF HOPE_

"Cagalli knew that Athrun would be in good hands. That was why she asked you to care for him in her absence. Because she trusted you, Hawke- san. And that is why…the people of Orb, Coordinator or not, love her."

Lacus looked at Meyrin.

_Towa no shiawase negatte inoru_

"Because they know they have a future. You can't help but be jealous, like in the case of Shinn- kun and Stellar- san. You see someone so happy, but at the expense of someone else happiness. But you have to learn to adjust. Hawke- san, you can always find someone better. Someone that loves you whole- heartedly and not clinging on to the past."

In that instant, Meyrin felt dumb.

_Akiramenai de michi wa kitto_

It sounded so silly.

She was actually jealous of a person who had long departed.

_Tatoe kimi ga zetsubou ni makesou ni nattemo  
_

_Kaeri wo matteru kara_

It was silly, wasn't it?

As she watched Lacus walk away after saying her thanks and drying her tears,

Meyrin realized one thing.

_Kiseki shinjite mitsuketa DUST TRAIL  
_

_Mirai wo hiraku SHINING RAY OF HOPE_

It was okay to be jealous sometimes,

But the one who would suffer wasn't just the green- eyed monster.

_Kimi no kotoba wo shinjite matsu yo_

With that knowledge in mind,

Meyrin felt so much more ready to face her future.

_Dakara kanarazu modotte kite_

_-Ganbatte…Meyrin- chan…and…-_

_Mune no oku ni yakitsuketa eien no MEMORY_

_-Thank you…for loving Athrun…-_

_Egao wo machi wabiteru_

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_A/N: # Bawls # I can't believe I finished this story…# Bawls # Anyway, just ignore me, I'm just getting rather emo…haha…this story has got to be one of my best…and this is so like the confirmed final chapter…!!! WAHH!! _

_Oh yes, if anyone wants to know, this music is "dust trail" by Hashimoto Miyuki._

_Anyway, thanks goes to the following people…_

Hades.Throne.Heiress: Your review really had me thinking hard, and honestly, I think I agree with what you said. Athrun did really love Cagalli to the point that he felt that he had become dangerous the minute he went back to ZAFT. But there's no denying…the gap had been there since the start of Destiny…oh well…TT…anyway, thanks for reviewing!!

ewngpwngh: Thanks for reviewing, hope you enjoy this chapter too!

3fi-pina3: My apologies, I hadn't intended to make anyone cry, honest…but anyway, thanks for reviewing!

LadyNightSky: Hmm…I don't think Athrun really went with Meyrin, as in the special for Destiny, it showed Athrun wearing the Orb uniform, so it may imply that Athrun and Cagalli still may have a chance together…oh well, let's just hope for it…

cherimai: Thanks for reviewing, I hope this chapter was up to your standard…or maybe not…TT

Athyra: Same here, I agree that the director is an idiot for pulling Cagalli and Athrun apart…# grump #, anyway, this chapter is dedicated to all the reviewers, including you…haha…oh yes, before I forget, may I say that one of your stories…"Shadow" I think, was really well- written? (I only saw it today…sorry about that, I've been cooped up with my work as of late…) I like the way you portray Athrun's relationship with Shinn and Alex…(I mean, Shinn giving Athrun help (in a way) is not something you see everyday…they were dead rivals in Destiny after all…talk about weird…XD)

Whoops, that review and thanks was a little too long…XD

_Anyway, my thanks to all readers and reviewers once again, hope you enjoyed this chapter!!_

_As a side note, I will be starting on another story soon, only I don't know when I can upload it as a result of piling up schoolwork and such…TT…just a hint, has to do with # coughchibiscough #_


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